Older Ladies Wearing Age Proudly

The media world is different from the real world. In the movies and on TV, and in books and magazines, women are young and thin. The perfect woman, young and thin, is everywhere. Skin clear, hair shiny and long, nails manicured, legs long and shapely, and butt cheeks and breasts bulging, she shows off her perfection with skimpy clothes, spaghetti straps and bare legs even in December. Social Media is not very different. Women tend to post pictures of themselves when they're looking their best, closest to those paragons of perfection we see in the media. Some women on social media feel the need to use filters too, as if makeup and fashion along with camera savvy aren’t enough.

However, the tide seems to be turning. Women are changing this situation. We are finding ourselves capable of creating new standards. Even the new Barbie movie (produced in part by women and written and directed by a woman) is surprising folks with its Barbieland and table-turning themes. We can be more than our looks. We can be more than side-kicks,  mothers, wives, assistants, somebody’s something. We have always existed, doctors, pilots, business leaders, adventurers, powerful protagonists in our own stories and heroes in our communities. Those stories are ready to be told. We can wear our extra pounds, grey hair, high heels that make us taller than the men around us, or sensible shoes and comfortable clothing with pockets proudly. Finally, we can see ourselves represented in the media more and more. 

There is a lot to read on this topic. One very positive thing that has been happening is that women’s representation in movies and television is being studied and quantified by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media. I encourage you to check them out, and support them if you can.

The Geena Davis Institute is very active on social media (follow them) where their audience and focus extends beyond gender:

Our research examines intersectional onscreen representation of six identities: gender, race, LGBTQ+, disability, age, and body size.

From the research they do, with the data they compile, they show the issues, call out the industries, support inclusive media, and they are getting results, positive change. Here is something about older adults on the Geena Davis Institute website: 

https://seejane.org/spotlight/being-seen-onscreen-is-lifechanging-for-older-adults/ 

Older adults are enjoying the inclusion of people in leading roles that look like them on the screen doing interesting and inspiring things. 

We are aware of the disconnect between the real world and what we see in the media, but it's hard not to be affected. I identify as female, older, and large-sized- three out of six of those under-represented types. And, I can relate to all the rest. We feel invisible sometimes, and often feel as though we’re just not good enough to be seen and appreciated the way we are. 

Shows like Schitt’s Creek, Grace and Frankie, and Queer Eye, and movies like the Book Club give me hope, but a quick overview of what’s on Netflix provides the usual made-for-boys/men posters with sexy young women and a huge number of and better variety of men.  At least some side-kick men are average-looking and pudgy and sometimes gay. There has always been a place for older men in lead roles. Soon, we’ll see more diversity, and more magnificent older women will be showing up on our screens. 

On Instagram, I follow several popular older women with natural grey or white hair, many of them with lines and wrinkles. A small number carry a little extra weight. Some of them have huge followings and are recognized as “influencers”. We are showing others, especially other older women, that older women are as diverse as any other group and as interesting and admirable, beautiful too. 

Here’s a link to a fun music video that came out when I turned 50. Older Ladies “We’re divine”, indeed.