Positive Thinking when So Much is Negative

When so much around us is negative, how do we manage to stay positive?

Some of us are born positive. Positive thinking comes easy to us. 

Others need some help. 

I'm one of those annoyingly positive people, but I have days (or lately, months, years) when I find myself in a dark place and I feel like staying there, getting comfortable there in the discomfort. 

When I need help getting back to the light, I have lots of tools in my toolbox. I'm sharing my list of healthy strategies for coping with negativity, which I'm calling my lighten-up toolbox.

My toolbox should look different from yours, partly because I'm naturally inclined to positivity, but also because we all have our preferences. Lots of people drink tea to feel better or knit, for example, which I don't choose. If you have "things" like knitting or colouring gear that you can put in a basket by your favourite chair, that would be a great lighten-up toolbox. You can throw in some index cards with keywords on them to remind yourself of things to do that will help. An internet search of "coping toolbox" will give you lots of ideas. 

I got this image from this Site with lots of good information on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Writing this list out here on my blog has helped me to remember the things that work for me. Maybe I should add making lists to the list. 

My Lighten-Up Toolbox

• Smiles (I put on a fake smile, then rest my face in that smile, breathe, ahhh)
• Water (Sometimes I'm cranky because I'm thirsty and just a glass of water does the trick.)
• Hugs (I hug anyone, everyone, especially my family and my dog-  COVID has been so hard!)
• Mindful Breathing (I'm really good at breathing, because I sing and I have played wind instruments.)
• Reframing Thoughts (Like Pollyanna, I can usually find the good side, the silver lining on anything.)
• Redirecting or Leaving Noxious Conversations or Situations (I naturally avoid conflict, and it's usually a healthy thing. Avoid news, angry people, uncomfortable topics.)
• Walks (Walking the dog makes me feel good, and when I'm outside, I notice how beautiful trees are, and what a nice neighbourhood I live in.)
• Guided Meditation (I use the Calm app, love Tamara Levitt.)
• Singing (I sing along to Taylor Swift, or Elton John, a playlist made by Victoria, Christmas carols, 80s tunes. Sometimes singing leads to dancing)
• Dancing (I put on the Apple Music Dance Workout Playlist, close the curtains, start with a jog, and do some aerobics moves, but also silly things that just feel good. Sometimes dancing leads to singing) 
• Pizza (I hesitate to put food on this list because it's a big, messy thing, but some foods are just happier than others. Pizza is one of many for me. I'm sure there are healthier ones.) 
• Other bits and pieces (Just like a real toolbox, this one has lots of random stuff rattling around in it. Sometimes it's a surprise what I find in here when I'm rifling through the regular things.)

Don't Hesitate to Meditate or Medicate

When stress is bad, it's bad. It doesn't just feel bad in the moment, but can also have lasting and far-reaching effects. 

   "Cumulative lifetime stress accelerates epigenetic aging, a predictor of the rate of biological aging," says Perla Kaliman, Ph.D., a professor at the Universitat Oberta de Catalunya in Spain. 

That quote comes from the Shape article that I saved and decided to write about. We need to protect ourselves from stress and deal with our tension to stay healthy. They recommend meditation as the way to protect ourselves from the damaging effects of stress. If you take care of your diet and exercise and add meditation, you should be good. 

This is the fifth and final post of my five-part series on slowing down ageing according to that Shape article that I liked.  I will not stop thinking about and talking about staying healthy as we age though. There is so much information out there and so much advice from everyone about what we should or shouldn't do as we get older! 

My posts parts 1 and 2 were about diet: here’s a link to the Omega-3 post and a link to the frequent small meals post. Parts 3 and 4 were about movement: here's a link to the one about being active every day and a link to the one about avoiding sitting too much.  

    #5 Deal with your tension 

A brief Google search identified a number of signs of stress which to me sounded an awful lot like symptoms of menopause and ageing. But then, Google also said that stress is really just about change:

    Stress is a normal human reaction that happens to everyone. In fact, the human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. When you experience changes or challenges (stressors), your body produces physical and mental responses. That's stress. Stress responses help your body adjust to new situations.

So, we're okay getting stressed if it's a passing thing, like the stress you feel before you go into a job interview. We can face all kinds of natural and normal stressors every day. But, if it's going on too long, like during a pandemic or the years of perimenopause and then menopause, and you don't do anything to take care of it, then you can experience some serious consequences:

• Pain and tension
• Irritability
• Anxiety 
• Depression 
• Mood swings
• Compulsive behavior
• Memory and concentration problems
• Low sex drive 

If you're feeling some of those serious consequences, talk to your doctor. Get some good, reliable advice. It's quite possible that medication will help you. Are you more likely to take meds for pain and muscle tension than for anxiety? Mental Health is a big issue, especially now during the pandemic, and we need to accept help. We need to accept that laughter is good, but medicine is sometimes the best medicine.  

I consulted the CMHA and the NIMH, the Canadian and American government health departments' websites, and found lots of useful information on Mental Health and stress. These links will take you directly to pages I liked. I recommend spending some time on the CMHA and NIMH websites to find things that speak to you, tips that make sense to you (and, really, talk to a health professional if you're experiencing serious stress symptoms). 

Diet, Exercise, Sleep are all the first factors mentioned everywhere. Seems like these are the things to focus on to manage your stress. If you get your daily routines of sleep and activity and eating in order, then your mind and body will be able to tackle things that come along. But, sometimes that's not enough, and there are lots of ways-including meditation-to deal with your tension. Here are a few:

• Avoid tobacco and nicotine products (so happy that I never started smoking)
• Learn relaxation techniques like meditation (I downloaded an app)
• Reduce your stress triggers (I left my job)
• Examine your values and live by them (this writing is part of my values exercise)
• Set realistic goals and expectations (don't add stress about failing)
• Laugh, especially with friends (community is important)
• Sing and dance without inhibition (my favourite)

You've heard that laughter is the best medicine. It's often true for me that laughing about things reduces their power to hurt me. In general, music is my best medicine. Music helps me to calm down or rise up to a situation, and singing helps me to breathe regularly when I'm losing control. I try to have regular dance parties in my living room, with the lights off and curtains drawn so I can let loose. When I was working, I used meditation daily, and often meditate still. Don't hesitate to meditate.

 

Inviting Inspiration

 “Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working.” – Pablo Picasso

 I'm keeping my phone out of reach today and playing with words and pictures and colours. I took Picasso's quote to heart and already I've had a few good ideas and created an Instagram post. 

I'm happy to have time to spend this way, investing in myself.