Downshifting Again

Now that I'm back to not working again, I cancelled my Calm subscription, my FitOn subscription, and National Geographic and Canadian Geographic. I've also started cooking and baking more.

Partly, it's because I'm not making money, so I don't have extra to spend; but, partly, it's because I don't need that support any more. I am doing great without the "Daily Calm" guided meditations. I'm not stressed out from work. If I need them, I can go to YouTube. I've been able to find Tamara Levitt's Daily Calm videos and all kinds of meditation and fitness videos on YouTube, and I made playlists so that it's easy to find them again when I need them. 

I found National Geographic and Canadian Geographic on Libby, the free library app. I have read tons of books and magazines using the Libby app since the beginning of COVID (average 1 book/week). I read on my iPad, a large iPad Pro, turned sideways so that I get two pages at once. I might start going to the library to borrow real books again, and I know that they also have magazines there. Maybe I could have a big walk or bike ride there and then sit and read. I have the time to do that. 

My diet is better again because I have time to cook and bake, so we're not using ready foods or ordering in or going out. When I was working, we ate restaurant food at least once a week, often twice or more, and I used time-saving ready sauces and dressings and canned or frozen things. Now, I'm cooking and baking and freezing my own stuff. We save money and we eat better now. I cook with way less salt, fat, and sugar than restaurants do. Simpler and better. 

When I'm preparing meals, I'm not sitting. That's already something. I sit so much less now that I don't have to sit at a computer for 8 hours or more every day! I still do sit too much, and I still look at screens too much. Right now, I'm at my desktop. I often write sitting at my desk, but sometimes sitting in the family room or out on the deck using my iPad. And, while I'm there, I'll take a look at not only emails, but also Instagram or Facebook. The absolute worst time-waster is TikTok, but it was a life saver while I had COVID and couldn't concentrate enough to read or watch a show. I have set a one hour limit on social media on my phone, which is helpful. It's not perfect, since I can override the limit or just switch to my iPad, but it's good to have a little push in the right direction. 

It's September, so it's time for a restart. The cooler weather and shorter days signal a change. Kids are back at school and at after-school activities, so adult activities start too. Choir starts tomorrow! Yay! I've missed it terribly. I'll be working on the Euphonia Therapeutic Music Program soon too. Hopefully, there will be some money coming in and not too much time tied up. And, my church schedule is already building. I hope to keep things as simple and manageable as possible so that I can keep up this calmer and healthier lifestyle. 

Netflix is now showing the documentary "Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones" and I highly recommend it. I became aware of and inspired by the Blue Zones years ago. Check out the website. Here's an infographic from them that I like:

Purpose and Positivity

Everyone deserves an occupation, deserves to be occupied by or with something to keep active and engaged in life. Everyone deserves an income which provides them with a living, for decent shelter and food at the very least. 

It's not only good to be busy and to have something to focus on, it's essential. I'm not thinking of something to fill the hours of the day, like watching Netflix or scrolling through social media, but of a career, or job, preferably a livelihood. If you have a purpose, you'll feel good being able to contribute to the community. Your contribution should be respected and you should be remunerated. Then, you will feel comfortable, confident, and happy. When we can't make a living, can't keep a job, we're at risk of suffering in many different ways from that occupational deprivation. Our community suffers with us.

Many important occupations do not provide people with a livelihood. Stay-at-home parents, caregivers of siblings or parents, grandparents who take care of their grandchildren, and their children's homes and gardens, and many other caregivers of people and places are not remunerated for their work. Their work is not even considered to be work, not a job or a career. Writers and artists, artisans, dancers, and musicians whose work isn't supported by popularity, or clever agents, often struggle to make a living, or worse, quit. Their work is often not considered work, not a job, not a viable career. Many service jobs are so poorly remunerated that workers have two or three jobs in order to piece together a living. They have jobs, but don't make a living. I'm thinking of PSWs, ECEs, cashiers, cleaners, servers, security guards, receptionists, and other low-level clerks and labourers. Imagine if these people all received a universal basic income. Imagine if they could have one job and do it well without burning out, with much less stress and worry. A universal basic income would allow these folks to make great contributions to their communities, to society, without worrying about living in poverty. 

A universal basic income would allow people to work part-time when a 40-hour work week is too taxing, physically or mentally. Not everyone has the same stamina, not everyone is capable of the same level of activity. It’s cruel to say that young people who can't keep up are lazy or unwilling to work, as I’ve heard people say. I’m sure that these “lazy” folks have limitations or disabilities that others can't see. These disabilities blind others to the abilities that they do have, abilities that are obscured or hidden because of unrealistic expectations. An element of accessibility should be reduced hours and flexible schedules. A part-time occupation could provide purpose and pride when someone is allowed to contribute what they can without worrying that they can never make a living, that they are never enough.

After retirement, or as a transition to retirement, older workers could take on part-time roles so that their knowledge and experience can continue to support their companies and provide them with continued fulfillment along with enough income to make ends meet. If they could be guaranteed a basic income, and the employment would be whatever they can manage, they could contribute with grace and dignity for a long time. When they leave their jobs, they could support the younger generations in their families without worrying about being a burden. 

I felt untethered after I left my job. Some days I felt aimless, useless. I felt untethered in my job too somehow. The cold corporate maze and remote work during the pandemic made me fall apart. It was only 7 years, this last chapter of my life, a little less than my ESL teaching career and not as rewarding, but it was good. I was a stay-at-home mom for much longer than both, and that was my favourite career, the most rewarding career. If money hadn't been a problem, then I would have been happy to stay at home. 

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I worked all the time. I kept house, had gardens, cooked and baked for, and played with, my family, my friends, my children and their friends.  I volunteered at school and church and I had my choir. I was active and contributed to my community. 

The work that I do at choir is special. Music moves my soul. Conducting the choir, leading and facilitating, singing, interpreting music, creating a rehearsal, a performance, a concert, it all fills my soul with joy and pride, and purpose. This work I do is for my community so that the choristers also feel the joy, pride, and purpose of creating music, and for our audiences' joy and well-being. 

I have become involved more in church again, leading children's music, singing, and working on a couple of committees. The church supports the larger community in many ways.  

I wish I didn’t have to prioritize work that provides income, so that I could be free to do more volunteering. These things I do for free give me purpose, help me to feel useful and happy, and benefit the community. My worries about affording my home and groceries and supporting my children keep me from doing what I love, sharing my abilities and my passions. Imagine if I could receive a universal basic income.

Along with believing in the value of a universal basic income, we need to start believing in the value of care for the elderly, infants and children, people with disabilities, the arts, performing arts, fine art, writing, and all the services that those who work long hours need (food preparation, home and property maintenance, driving, pet care, etc). Everyone's roles would be respected and people would be able to support themselves. This could be a solution to homelessness.

Boomers to Resist Becoming Marginalized

Young people seem to be a much kinder, humanistic, global thinking group than old people. Maybe it’s because of contact with individuals from all over the globe on the internet. There seems to be more understanding and acceptance of the diversity of people. At least, that’s been my experience in my contact with younger folk in person and on social media.

We should be getting closer to becoming an accepting, inclusive society (here in Canada, but also globally) now that the big baby boom generation is learning that they and their friends suddenly belong to groups that they used to marginalize.

They are old, and they’re also becoming disabled as they age. Ageism and ableism should be acknowledged, as there will be more people in power who won’t accept those “isms”. The people who say “handicap” and mean a person are either dying off or learning that this kind of label shouldn’t be used limit them personally and it can be hurtful and harmful generally. Their kids and grandkids are inventing devices, systems, ways to keep these old and no longer perfectly independent boomers active and accepted.  People with a disability are much more than the parts of them that limit them.

Boomers are slowly learning that it’s not horrible to be gay and that their gender identity doesn’t have to be a life sentence, or an actual jail sentence. (And, now that we can talk about them, sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same.) I say slow because it was 1967 when Pierre Trudeau famously said “There is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation”. Maybe a boomer (or a sibling) has had a late autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, with that epiphany of understanding (oh, that’s why!). They’re used to being in charge, those baby boomers, so they’re not going to let anyone hide them in the attic when they’ve been given a label from DSM-5-TR (the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). They’re going to demand accommodations for themselves, and with increasing understanding, they will extend the idea of accommodations to other marginalized groups. At least, that is my hope, that they will make big positive systemic changes while in power, before they die off. I can hope. If they don't, their children will.

Ladies, Wear What You Want

The perfect woman, 

young and thin, 

is everywhere. 

Skin clear, 

hair shiny and long, 

nails manicured, 

legs long and shapely, 

and butt cheeks and breasts bulging, 

she shows off her perfection 

with skimpy clothes, 

spaghetti straps and bare legs 

even in December.

We can wear what we want

perfect or not.

We can wear 

our extra pounds, 

grey hair, 

high heels that make us taller than the men around us, 

or sensible shoes,

and comfortable clothing with pockets, 

proudly,

even in December.

Older Ladies Wearing Age Proudly

The media world is different from the real world. In the movies and on TV, and in books and magazines, women are young and thin. The perfect woman, young and thin, is everywhere. Skin clear, hair shiny and long, nails manicured, legs long and shapely, and butt cheeks and breasts bulging, she shows off her perfection with skimpy clothes, spaghetti straps and bare legs even in December. Social Media is not very different. Women tend to post pictures of themselves when they're looking their best, closest to those paragons of perfection we see in the media. Some women on social media feel the need to use filters too, as if makeup and fashion along with camera savvy aren’t enough.

However, the tide seems to be turning. Women are changing this situation. We are finding ourselves capable of creating new standards. Even the new Barbie movie (produced in part by women and written and directed by a woman) is surprising folks with its Barbieland and table-turning themes. We can be more than our looks. We can be more than side-kicks,  mothers, wives, assistants, somebody’s something. We have always existed, doctors, pilots, business leaders, adventurers, powerful protagonists in our own stories and heroes in our communities. Those stories are ready to be told. We can wear our extra pounds, grey hair, high heels that make us taller than the men around us, or sensible shoes and comfortable clothing with pockets proudly. Finally, we can see ourselves represented in the media more and more. 

There is a lot to read on this topic. One very positive thing that has been happening is that women’s representation in movies and television is being studied and quantified by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media. I encourage you to check them out, and support them if you can.

The Geena Davis Institute is very active on social media (follow them) where their audience and focus extends beyond gender:

Our research examines intersectional onscreen representation of six identities: gender, race, LGBTQ+, disability, age, and body size.

From the research they do, with the data they compile, they show the issues, call out the industries, support inclusive media, and they are getting results, positive change. Here is something about older adults on the Geena Davis Institute website: 

https://seejane.org/spotlight/being-seen-onscreen-is-lifechanging-for-older-adults/ 

Older adults are enjoying the inclusion of people in leading roles that look like them on the screen doing interesting and inspiring things. 

We are aware of the disconnect between the real world and what we see in the media, but it's hard not to be affected. I identify as female, older, and large-sized- three out of six of those under-represented types. And, I can relate to all the rest. We feel invisible sometimes, and often feel as though we’re just not good enough to be seen and appreciated the way we are. 

Shows like Schitt’s Creek, Grace and Frankie, and Queer Eye, and movies like the Book Club give me hope, but a quick overview of what’s on Netflix provides the usual made-for-boys/men posters with sexy young women and a huge number of and better variety of men.  At least some side-kick men are average-looking and pudgy and sometimes gay. There has always been a place for older men in lead roles. Soon, we’ll see more diversity, and more magnificent older women will be showing up on our screens. 

On Instagram, I follow several popular older women with natural grey or white hair, many of them with lines and wrinkles. A small number carry a little extra weight. Some of them have huge followings and are recognized as “influencers”. We are showing others, especially other older women, that older women are as diverse as any other group and as interesting and admirable, beautiful too. 

Here’s a link to a fun music video that came out when I turned 50. Older Ladies “We’re divine”, indeed.

Music Therapy for Seniors' Wellbeing

I've been reading quite a bit about music and memory, about music programs for seniors living in retirement residences and care homes, and music programs designed especially for seniors dealing with dementia and hearing loss. 

I'm hoping to join a couple friends providing a music therapy program in local retirement residences and care homes. It's such a great program! Participants wear wireless headphones and listen together to music from their youth, transmitted with a range of frequencies that compensates for hearing loss. It's a gentle and effective way to ignite feelings, reminisce, create bonds through shared experience, and boost self-esteem. 

I am certain that music has therapeutic powers. Music's power is wonderful, awe-inspiring, and mysterious. I have felt music effect my well-being and I've seen its effects on others. It's been my experience, and it's backed up by science. I'm learning that music's therapeutic powers are being proven by research.

It's remarkable how our brains process music. The medical and scientific communities are still learning about how it works and how it works differently for different people, but it works wonderfully and mysteriously. Google "music and the brain" and you'll see so many interesting articles from universities and scientific journals. Our brains and our whole bodies are fascinating; we humans are marvelous, miraculous beings. 

Music moves us. Music can evoke emotions, right, like the soundtracks in movies making us cry, or feel euphoric, or frightened. Music can make us want to dance or move in certain ways, clap or sway, for example. We can be transported back to a different time and place when we hear songs from our youth, remembering people and places, and even the feel of clothing, and smell of cologne, or campfire smoke. Music has been shown to activate some of the broadest and most diverse networks of the brain. Even if you didn't study music, myriad brain pathways and networks are activated when you listen to music. If you did study music and played an instrument or sang in a choir, you've got lots of lights going on, sparks flying all over your brain, just from listening to music. Moving to music and making music add even more as more motor neurons are stimulated.

You might have come across a story of a person with dementia who could play piano pieces perfectly but could not remember much else. Or, an elderly person who had been unresponsive would suddenly sing along to a beloved old song. Dr. Oliver Sacks, a renowned neurologist, professor, and author, famously stated:

"The past which is not recoverable in any other way is embedded, as if in amber, in the music (that shaped their past), and people can regain a sense of identity." 

The research is simply supporting what I feel very strongly, that singing and dancing are important activities that all of us should be encouraged to do. They are the easiest way, the universal, basic, human way to make music. None of us should be discouraged from singing or dancing because our voices or bodies don't measure up to a particular standard. Everyone should have opportunities to sing and dance, especially seniors. 

Through my work with the York Region Community Choir and at my church, I've figured out that I feel the happiest and most capable and purposeful when I'm getting people to sing, and singing and dancing with people, young and old. This might be the purpose for me. I hope to provide more opportunites for singing and moving to music to seniors living in retirement residences and care homes in my neighbourhood in this next stage of my life.

Music Therapy Program

Dancing and Singing with Joy: Go ahead and let loose

Context: your friends are singing and dancing at a party or at a concert or at a bar. 

You don't feel that you can join in. You stand still and smile with your mouth closed. 

At some time in the past, you were told that you have no rhythm or that you don't have a good voice, can't sing.

Poppycock!

Nonsense!

You are begged to join in. 

But no, you laugh and say "Oh, you don't want to hear me sing!"

You say "I have two left feet."

Hogwash! 

Horsefeathers!

Of course your friends do want to hear you sing and see you dance; they love you and your voice and your body and they want you to feel good.

Of course you can sing and dance. You walk, you talk; you can dance and sing. Even if you have difficulty walking and talking, you can probably do some dancing and singing. (I've seen and heard severly disabled people enjoy moving their bodies to music and singing, singing in a choir with physical and developmental disabilities-yes, they did and it was beautiful!) 

Go ahead and let loose!

Sing loud, or soft, belt or hum. Hum or sing nonsense, because you don't have to know all the words. Just sing the chorus, sing the guitar solo, just sing.

Move your body any way you want, any way you can. You don't have to know choreography or any dance moves that have names. Just sway, or bounce, or wiggle. Just don't hurt anyone, or yourself. 

Delight in the sound of your voice because it belongs to you-it's beautiful, unique in its beauty!

Delight in the movement of your body because it belongs to you, and it's magnificent, wonderful, and like you it's beautiful and unique! 

Do it for yourself, for health and enjoyment. 

Do it for your friends who want to see you happy, who want you to join them in their happiness. You will share your energy with them, increasing their joy, instead of potentially dragging them down with your negativity. 

Go ahead and just sing like you walk or talk, without thinking whether you can do it exactly the same again (for a recording or so you can get paid? You're a professional and this is a gig? No! Nonsense.). Sing without having to be accurate, consistent, in control. Dance without having to be accurate, consistent, in control. Let loose. 

Go ahead. 

Dance.

Sing.

Delight in the music, delight in your friends.

We all need more opportunities to sing and dance for fun. Seek them out, create them, help your friends, your children, your grandparents, and their friends, to experience more singing and dancing together. 

Me, at my disco dance at church.

~ Don't let me catch you telling anyone they can't dance or sing, even yourself!