Renate's Book Recommendations 2022

I keep track of what I read on Goodreads, because otherwise I forget everything. I forget the name of the author, the name of the book, the main characters names, the plot, everything. (This isn't dementia; I've never had a good memory for this kind of detail, or anything really, ask Max.)

With Goodreads, I can go back and remember, sometimes with no peeking at the synopsis, but mostly with the help of that and the reader reviews. 

Also, Goodreads keeps track of what I read each year, so I know that I read 56 books this year. 

I don't know what you're interested in for non-fiction recommendations. We can talk about those things another time in another context. So, this is just novels, fiction. 

I always recommend Louise Penny and her Armand Gamache series. I love her and almost never forget her name. I love the village of Three Pines she created and all the characters there. I haven't read the latest one, but I would recommend it anyway. I will read it as soon as I can. I didn't read them in order, but I've read them all. 

Here's a list of things I especially enjoyed this year. Some of them were just fun, but the first 6 are exceptionally good. 

The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams

The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot by Marianne Cronin

This is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Good Night, Mr. Wodehouse by Faith Sullivan

The Ten Thousand Doors of January  by Alix E. Harrow

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center

The Wanderer by Robyn Carr (author of Virgin River Netflix series)

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

Staying Positive- It's Not Easy, but I Have Choir

It's not easy to stay positive sometimes. 

Yesterday, there were so many upsetting posts on Twitter, Facebook, everywhere! Everywhere I looked, I was reminded of awful things. It got me down. I had to stop looking! But, sometimes it's hard to stop. The pull of negativity is strong. 

Roe vs Wade. It's not really Pro Choice or Pro Life. Choice or no choice; life or no life? No. The US Supreme Court is talking about taking away abortion rights, women's rights. People are divided, and angry, and often cruel. I find it hard to believe that we're going backwards here, regressing when we should be progressing (I say we and here because Canadians are not very different from our American neighbours.). I saw several wonderful posts supporting my own position, expressing my own thoughts, and that was good. But, it was still disturbing.

I finally counted my blessings, turned off the world, and headed to choir. 

It took a few minutes to shake off my day, and then I was in my happy place, my blissful hours of choir. Choir night is not just an escape from life, but it's also an embracing of life, a reminder of all the good things. We sing about love and harmony, peace, family, friendship, community, sunshine and stars. We celebrate each other's victories, health, babies, grandbabies, and when we need it we get a comforting hug, a shoulder to lean on.

Serious Fun With Serious Music

I am very grateful for my childhood experiences with music, with classical music in particular. I hope that young people are getting some good musical experiences these days. 

The amount of classical music I was exposed to by rabbits and other creatures in Muppet or animated form is amazing. What a fun way to broaden children's musical experiences! 

Video games and movie soundtracks continue to provide serious music for all ages, wonderful symphonic orchestral works that play on the "classical" radio stations. Sesame Street is still at it (currently in season 52), introducing classical music to children and their parents along with lots of fun.

When I was teaching English as a Second Language to adults in North York, I had a workshop that I conducted for other teachers called "Serious Fun". I shared games that I used successfully in class to teach and to practise grammar, idioms and other vocabulary, spelling, all kinds of serious things.  The games added much-needed moments of silliness and respite from all of the pressures of being a newcomer to Canada and an adult returning to a classroom. Some of the serious fun included singing. 

Serious Fun is still my thing. I love to have fun with my choir, the YRCC, making sure to have at least one song in every performance that makes people laugh, something cute, something silly and fun. I pepper my commentary with dashes of silliness. We often deal with big, serious themes, and sing grand, moving pieces of music, so everyone needs these moments of release. 

When we rehearse, we need to have fun every week. We work hard learning music that's often in 4-part harmony and challenging. It's important for us to be able to laugh at ourselves, and to release the stress of the difficult passages in the music we're learning. Even more important for our weekly rehearsals is the need to release the stresses of the day, the stresses of life. My choir is Serious Fun like my grammar games!

Serious music, classical music, orchestral works, don't have to be heavy and challenging. Yesterday, Lauren (my friend and YRCC's lovely president) gifted me with an afternoon at the Symphony with her. The TSO (Toronto Symphony Orchestra) presented a concert called Totally 1980s. It was so much fun! We laughed and sang along (Don't worry: the audience was invited to sing and even dance along.) and we were also fascinated and impressed by all the wonderful musicians in the orchestra and the vocalists who performed a super mix of pop, rock, disco, and soundtracks from our youth. What joy; totally my thing!

I recently posted (on Musical Empathy: renatesmusicalempathy.blogspot.com) about my early memories of serious music, entitled "Sesame Street and Cartoons: Iconic Music Memories". I've spoken about the Muppets quite a bit lately, and because they were such a big influence on me, we're doing a Muppet-like version of Good Morning, Starshine rather than a Hair-like version.

One thing I love about Donna, our new accompanist, is that she happily recounts being told by her students that she sounded like Kermit the Frog. I love Kermit and had a Kermit stuffy when I was little. Donna shares my playfulness, and she is seriously trained and seriously talented. I love that she laughs at my silly jokes. I think Serious Fun is Donna's thing too. 

I think everyone should have the opportunity to learn to play a musical instrument, and to play that instrument in a large ensemble. I so much enjoyed my band experiences in school! It was a lot of work but so much fun! Any kind of musical performance is a great part of an education. Music should be learned with lots of fun and less judgement, less competition and more silliness. Serious music with serious fun should be compulsory. 

When I watch musicians, I feel great respect for their skills and the investment they've put into making music for us. I'm also grateful for the production, the sound, the staging, the theatre.

I wish every child could also be given experiences at the symphony, the opera, the ballet, and live musical theatre. All of these and big rock concerts, jazz festivals, all kinds of live music mean so much more when you have an understanding of how it works. 

Face the Negatives to Be Positive

"If you know how to handle your pain, your sorrow, and your fear, you know how to create happiness."

*Breathing in, I am aware of a painful feeling arising.
Breathing out, I release the painful feeling.*

I recently read Good Citizens: Creating Enlightened Society by Thích Nhất Hạnh. There were so many quotable moments! I wanted to write everything down, wanted to highlight most of every page in yellow. Those two quotes above are the things that stood out to me at this reading. I've written a couple of times about feeling the opposite of Pollyanna lately. I've had my positivity challenged a lot in the past couple years, in the past weeks and the past couple days. 

Here's how Amazon describes the book:

In Good Citizens, Thich Nhat Hanh lays out the foundation for an international solidarity movement based on a shared sense of compassion, mindful consumption, and right action. Following these principles, he believes, is the path to world peace. The book is based on our increased global interconnectedness and subsequent need for harmonious communication and a shared ethic to make our increasingly globalized world a more peaceful place. The book will be appreciated by people of all faiths and cultural backgrounds.

World peace can seem to be an impossible goal when individuals and nations are selfish and cruel, attacking innocent strangers, attacking neighbours, and even their own kin, destroying property and lives. Yet, here is a path to world peace. Look around and see the writers, musicians, artists, protesters, groups and individuals, sharing messages of peace and support in response to the attacks on Ukraine. There is hope for all of us, international solidarity is possible, and there is a path for me to take to achieve inner peace right here and now.  Breathe in; breathe out. 

Amazon Page

Another Snow Storm- Windrow Positivity

Windrows are the piles of snow that the street plow leaves at the end of your driveway. People get so mad at the plows for these! Nonsense! 

The plows are just doing what plows do. I'm grateful for the plows and grateful for my strong body and snow moving strategies. I'll share some of my strategies for staying positive and dealing with the snow.

Let the storm rage on.  The windrows never bothered me anyway. Sing that like Elsa.

Here's a picture of Dexter. He's our beautiful German Shorthaired Pointer. I'm there behind him, in my blue puffy jacket with my big snow scooper. It's actually called a sleigh shovel. I looked it up. I highly recommend this kind of snow shovel. But, you'll also need a good small ergonomic lifting one. We regularly use 3 different shovels. 

Don't worry, we're on a little court, no traffic

When you need to shovel the driveway after a snow storm, make a plan, have your tools handy, and listen to your body. Don't wear your heaviest gear. You'll work yourself warm. If possible, have a buddy to help. If you don't have a helper, consider doing half now and half later, after a rest and some tea. 

Push straight ahead as much as possible. Try not to twist your body. Clear a track straight down the middle first. This opens up the way for you, and the dog, to get to the road. More importantly, it divides the task into two smaller ones. I use the scoop for that. You can drag scoopfuls of snow down the road a ways (don't leave it on the road) so that it's not all right by your driveway. Get the snow to the edges and dump/push it up first, and then do lifting later if necessary. 

When you have to lift, don't lift too much at once, and don't repeat the same motion too often. Don't lift with the big scooper! Use a smallish shovel with an ergonomic handle. Keep your knees loose, legs strong. Listen to your body, and if it complains, change your movements. Maybe walk to the other end of the driveway, do a little stretching and start from a different angle. You'll want to lift straight as much as possible, but you'll end up leading with one side. Switch sides every few strokes. Don't worry if you're not doing it systematically or beautifully. At the end, you can clean it up so it looks perfect if you want. Pay attention to your body. 

IMPORTANT: If you're smiling and loving the snow, you'll have less tension in your neck and shoulders, and generally better use of all of your muscles. 

Sing while you shovel. 

Send out some grateful love to the snow plow operators who work so hard! 

Send out gratitude and love to the waste collectors who have to navigate through all the snow and find, pick up, empty, and put back everyone's recycling boxes and green bins. 

When you're done, look at what you've accomplished and feel strong, skillful, and successful. Reward yourself with hot chocolate or tea and maybe a little chocolate, and some dog cuddles inside on the couch.

Singing and Dancing are for All of Us

 

Not Giving up My Shovel for a Snow Blower

We've had lots of snow this year but I still don't want a snow blower. Our neighbours who have snow blowers have already used them a few times this winter and I guess they're feeling pretty good. 

I've been spending time on the Blue Zones website, bluezones.com, getting inspiration and support for my healthy long life. One of the things they recommend to improve your life and longevity is to use hand tools and equipment more. Clearing the driveway with a snow shovel, they say, gives you a healthy and productive outdoor workout. For me, that's just part of it.

We're having a very cold and snowy winter (it's January 27th, 2022) and I'm happy, one of the few people you know who loves snow and cold. No, I'm not a skier and I don't like snowmobiles. I just think snow is beautiful. It's exciting when it's falling and peaceful afterwards. I walked Dexter this morning and I loved the sound of the snow crunching under my boots, which I could hear because it's so quiet, the world muffled by snow. I have good boots, a good coat, hats, mitts, all the gear I need. When it's minus 20 degrees Celsius, I'm fine. The world looks shiny and clean and the air is crisp. 

I'm lucky to live in a suburban neighbourhood where the streets and sidewalks are excellently cleared by the town. (Newmarket, Ontario) We just have to clear our walkways and driveways on our properties. Many of the driveways fit four cars comfortably. When I'm done clearing the snow from my driveway, I feel really good: exhausted and accomplished. It's a good workout. When the snow is heavy and there's a lot of it, it's also a good puzzle, figuring out were to put it all and how to push more than lift and how to make sure I don't hurt myself. The windrow that the snowplow makes at the end of the driveway is especially challenging and can take more time to shovel than the whole driveway sometimes. I like to see how good my driveway and walkway look when I'm done. 

When I'm done, I just hang the shovel up. It takes up little space and I have room in my garage for my car. I don't have to store a snowblower or worry about servicing it. My shovel is quiet and clean, very environmentally friendly. As long as I can, I will use a snow shovel.  

snowy scene outside my window

Giving up: Sometimes the show does not go on, and it's okay

 Don't give up! We're not quitters! 

Keep going! The show must go on!

We've had enough of this. 

It's time to take a break and say, "Stop it! I just can't!"

We're tired and we can't do it all. We can't do it all when everything we do is a struggle. Our teams are tired, our support systems are tired, the back-up singers, back-up drivers, back-up shift workers are all sick, and tired, and can't.

I'm tired of looking for the bright side and smiling in the hopes that the smile will turn real. 

We're two years in to the pandemic and we're all tired of this. We've reached our limits.

It's okay if you decide to go to bed early (and sleep in late too).

It's okay if you miss the video call, or call in sick.

Leave the task unfinished; do the rest after some rest.

Thank you, Adele, for postponing your Vegas show a couple of days ago! I'm grateful to you for showing your very real and understandable level of stress, and for showing your gratitude to your fans for understanding. Of course they get it. There's grace in letting go.

Thank you, everyone, for your moments of grace in these difficult times. We will try when we can. When we're feeling up to it, we'll smile and we'll do all the things!

But, we can't be expected to keep it up all the time. 

Forgive yourself and forgive others when we fail to meet expectations. 

Lower your expectations a little for now. It's not forever and it's not always. 

Adele announcing Vegas show not going on

Feeling the Opposite of Pollyanna

Is the opposite of a Pollyanna a curmudgeon? Whatever you call it, that's how I'm feeling.

I'm done playing the glad game. I'm not trying to find something to be glad about these days. I'm sitting deep in my grouchy couch feeling only like crying or cussing. 

Since Christmas, I've been experiencing something like the post-show blues I get after a choir performance. It's happened before. There were years when I'd be sick in bed for a week after Christmas. Once all the hoopla was over, a virus would hit and I'd be forced to stop. 

This year, the hoopla was cancelled again. It was worse this year because I had hoped to have a real Christmas. I had hopes and plans for Christmas 2021. I planned to host my side, a dinner for 12 for Christmas Day, and my best friend's family, a dinner for 8, on Boxing Day. Christmas Eve was supposed to be church at church and then out to my husband's side. Church was the best ever, a service planned and led by my talented Vix with her guitar, Christmas dinner was wonderful, even if it was just 4 of us. Zoom calls were lovely. I was fine, but now I'm not.

Usually, I'm a sunny person, but these days, I'm feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions. Here is my current "top 10": sadness, anger, disappointment, shame, frustration, impatience, repulsion, fear, worry, and despair.

I've had good moments, even good days. It will flip back again. I'll have bad days and bad moments. This too will pass. 

This too shall pass.

from Wikipedia:

Curmudgeon: a person (especially an old man) who is easily annoyed or angered and who often complains.

Synonyms for curmudgeon: bear, bellyacher, complainer, crab, crank, croaker, crosspatch, fusser, griper, grouch, grouser, growler, grumbler, grump, murmurer, mutterer, sourpuss, whiner.