Still Here, Being Positive!

I'm still here, being positive! I'm just super busy with work, and less in need of this kind of expression, I guess.

Funny, I read that last post just now, and it's so very relevant to my life! We experienced a couple of big lay-offs at work. I was working a lot, and had a period of very long days, 50+ hour-work-weeks. It was hard, but still positive because those of us who are left are a team and all positive people. One of the reasons I was chosen to stay was that I am a "cheerleader". I was told that explicitly. 

I do love the people I work with, and my job is interesting and stimulating. And, I get paid. And, I'm getting paid today while I sit at home relaxing. Yay!

It's Labour Day today, and I'm not working in a unionized environment now, but I appreciate the work that unions have done and still do to keep work fair and healthy. Some people say that unions aren't necessary, since we have so much of what they fight for written into law, but I think that's as wrong as saying that we don't need to fight for equal rights for women since so much is written into our laws. Workers and women still need to fight for their rights and have a ways to go before society even acknowledges that things are not right yet. We accept too much inequality and injustice without thinking about it. We keep getting closer, though.

We still need, and will always need, cheerleaders.

Happiness is Valuable: Invest in it!

Here's a great job to have: Head of Happiness!

A company in the UK called "SuperStars" (a brilliant company that provides physical education, art, music and theatre programs for schools and for parents, for summer and break times, before and after-school, and parties) has hired a head of happiness to ensure that its employees are more engaged, more creative, more productive, more loyal, all the things that happier employees can be.

I just read an article about their commitment to keeping their employees happy and fulfilled. It's called So, what makes YOUR workforce happy? Why putting a smile on your workers' faces is a serious business. The article says that if employees have fun, feel valued, find meaning and purpose in their work, and have opportunities to learn and grow, they feel happier. And, happier employees are better employees.

That might seem obvious to you, but is it happening where you work? If things seem obvious, sometimes we don't pay enough attention to them. We know workplace happiness is important, but are we putting time and money into it?

• Does your boss provide you with opportunities to learn and grow?
• Do you feel valued, appreciated? 
• Is your work meaningful? 
• Are there events that you can participate in that help you and your colleagues to feel happier? 
• Do you feel engaged, part of a team? 
• Are you making an effort to keep positive and to help your colleagues to feel positive too? 
• How do you keep happy at work? 
• What do you do to make things better? 

Think about it. Invest some time in your workplace happiness.

Choose Optimism for Yourself and Your Loved Ones

This showed up on my Facebook feed this morning. 

I had never thought of complaining as an addiction, but I guess that those who do complain constantly must get some kick out of it. Maybe they think it's cool? It makes them appear grown-up, or important? Whatever benefit they imagine can't make up for the damage, though. It's got to be depressing and destructive to hear yourself repeat all those negative things all the time. It will probably turn off potential friends and clients and affect your success, giving you even more to complain about. In fact, studies have shown that negativity and complaining are bad for the brain. Repeated negativity is actually bad for the speaker and the listener. (check out this article) And so, I've discovered that it's a lot like smoking.

I'm a positive thinker, but I get dragged down frequently. I'm exposed to a great deal of complaining and it brings me down. I don't feel any of the benefits that you might feel when complaining. My empathy just makes me feel sad and stressed, and sometimes I'm exhausted from listening to your problems and complaints and criticisms. It's very much like the second-hand smoke I had to deal with when I was a child. I was exposed to a lot of cigarette smoke and had trouble with allergies and asthma, but not anymore.

Luckily, I never started to smoke even though I grew up with a smoker as a parent.

I won't pick up the complaining habit either.

I choose optimism for my own health and for my family's.

Feel-Good Music

Keep this song in your favourite list, or bookmark it, or whatever you need to do so you can find it when you need it!

Music is a cheap and healthy mood-altering drug. Keep some handy for whatever mood you want to experience. If you want to read more about how music affects our moods, take a look at my other blog, Musical Empathy.

This song, Happy, is perfect. You'll be sure to find it when you need a lift. It says clap along if you want to, but you'll really want to wiggle and dance along! It's so much fun!

Simple and direct title, eh?

Body Language: Fake it till you become it

This Ted Talk,

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are

which came to me via Facebook (I spend way too much time on FB), arrived at a perfect time for me.

I just turned 50, this week, and I know it's not such a big deal, and I tried not to make a big deal of it, but the half-century milestone apparently is a big deal. Lots of people are making a big deal of my 50th birthday and tell me stories of their own big plans for theirs, past or future.

So many people are surprised that I'm 50! They remark again and again that I look so young! They would never have guessed that I'm 50.

So, I'm not young, but look shockingly young for someone so old?!!! I know, I know; that's not what they mean. They're trying to compliment me. And, I do feel flattered.

But, it makes me wonder.

What is it that makes me youthful?

My good skin? I don't have many wrinkles, okay almost none, but I do have large pores, some acne, and those little veins on my cheeks from the sun. I don't wear makeup, or do anything special with creams and things, so it's not good cosmetics.

I colour my hair, so you can't see the grey. Covering grey helps, but lots of octogenarians do too.

My clothes? Not likely. I do a lot of second-hand shopping. No high-fashion items, nothing trendy in my closet.

I have young children. I had my youngest at 36, so I'm older than other mothers of 13-year-olds. Calculate child's age plus 25-30 and I'm a decade older than your calculation. That could be the simple answer to the shock. Wow, math.

I like to think that I appear to be younger than I am because of the presence that I generally have, the way I stand and walk in the world. My optimism, confidence, and enthusiasm make me pretty and young. Somehow, they show. Maybe that's in my body language.

I've always been aware of the positive feedback loop of body language. It's just like the mirror neurons that make you smile when someone else is smiling, and then make you feel more positive. You might be triggered to yawn just reading the word yawn. You stand akimbo like Wonder Woman, smile and speak with confidence, and you feel stronger, and people see you as being in charge, then you feed off of that too.

I try to stand and sit tall, and am aware of the suck-in-your-gut magic weight loss trick. Mostly, I try not to worry too much about my weight and my skin and hair and all those things that the media want me to worry about. Let it go. I spend my energy on being present in the moment, listening, participating, laughing, crying. I smile a lot.

This Ted Talk is about non-verbal expressions of power and dominance, and using "power posing" to achieve success, but I think it's also about being positive in general. Standing tall and having a good attitude about yourself and the world is powerful. Being negative and having a bad attitude about yourself and the world is also powerful, powerfully unattractive.

I agree that power posing can change your life in meaningful ways. I also believe that being positive attracts positive people and even positive outcomes- good luck some might say.

When I'm super-nervous before a show, I try to smile and stand tall. I positively strut on stage. I beam out at the audience and then I beam at my choir. People are always shocked when they hear that I was nervous. Not only did I fool all of them, the choir and the audience, but I also fooled myself. My powerful persona takes over and it's wonderful. We all benefit.

So, I'm going to keep on being optimistic, confident, and enthusiastic, and continue to be present in the moment, and I hope to continue to shock people with how young and calm I appear.

New perspective on the half-full glass

This was posted on Facebook and I shared it there, so now I'm sharing it here too. This is a really good reminder to take charge of the stuff going on in your head, to look at things differently to create a more positive life. 

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.” Remember to put the glass down.

Happy New Year! New Beginnings can even start today!

Well, it's January 10th and I should have resolved to write more often, to exercise more often, to eat better, and all those good things on January 1st. But, I think it's not too late to start now. At 11:45 on a Friday, I can resolve to begin to write more and be a better, healthier person.

I wrote about starting things at odd times for my Renate's Baton Blog. Here's a link to that post. On and around New Year's Day, I do wish people Happy New Year and wish them health and happiness, and I also wish those things for myself. But, I haven't done the New Year's Resolutions thing in a long time. I'm still not going to make a list, but I will be resolute for a while about starting off the year positively.

I'm turning 50 next month, and it's kind of looming. Sometimes it looms large and other times I think I can just ignore it. There are times when I don't think about it at all, but it keeps popping up.

I like how the Persians call the new year "Now Ruz" New Day. It reminds me that every day is a new day and every moment can bring change.

Celebrate the new day. Resolve to do something new any time, even now. I'm going to.

The science of happy

BELLE BETH COOPER's article, Ten Simple Things You Can Do to Be Happier, Backed by Science, says that the things you can do are simple, but some of the things in the list aren't so easy. The one thing she doesn't list, but is the easiest to do is just getting older. Older people are happier. Getting older makes you happier. 

So, I'm on the right track, then! In fact, looking at this list, I understand why I'm such a happy person already. I've got 9/10! Two things I'm doing right now are working at home and being outside on my back porch. And, I'm in the process of planning a trip to go and spend more time outdoors with my family hiking at Letchworth Park in NY. This time, we're going to stay in a motel instead of camping, so we'll actually sleep. Thank God! Here, I've covered 6/10 and that makes me smile! There, I've got 9/10 covered right now :)

I've summarized her list, below. But, go have a look at her article. I especially like the pictures of brain activity, so I copied one below. 

Quick Fact: Getting Older Will Make You Happier

1. Exercise
2. Sleep
3. Stop Commuting
4. Spend time with Friends and Family
5. Spend time Outdoors
6. Help People
7. Smile
8. Plan a Holiday
9. Meditate
10. Be Thankful

Your Mind: use it or lose it, and take good care of it

I think we all feel like we're losing our minds sometimes. We misplace keys, walk into rooms forgetting why we're there, and forget names. We worry about ending up with some kind of dementia when we're older. 

Don't worry. Do something about it!

I'm quoting the Greater Good website again. Today, I read an article called, 

How to Keep Your Brain Sharp

The author recommends a book, The SharpBrains Guide to Brain Fitness. 

You're walking and working on your level of physical fitness. Good! That helps your brain too.  Research has found that: 

"the longer distance people walked, the larger their brain volume and the lower the risk of developing dementia or cognitive impairment. These studies and others lead the authors to recommend moderate exercise, three times a week, for improved brain function."

Yay! I've just started a morning exercise regimen, walking or swimming every morning. 

In fact, lots of things that we already do to help us keep fit and happy are things that help the brain keep sharp and fit too. 

Brain Power!

"Some of the diseases of aging, like cognitive decline or Alzheimer’s, can be postponed or improved with simple interventions, like moderate exercise, diet changes, and increasing one’s cognitive challenges."

I started taking piano lessons a few years ago, and constantly remind myself that this is one way that I'm using my mind instead of losing it. It's much harder for me than it is for my 13-year-old daughter, and sometimes I get discouraged. But, I try to stay motivated. 

The dietary recommendations include: "nuts, fruits, vegetables, fish, and olive oil, with moderate alcohol consumption." So, I'm going to have to increase the amount of alcohol I regularly drink. Yay! 

Another thing that helps is social interactions. Maintaining your friendships and being in a club, or a choir, help to keep the brain in good condition, improving your working memory. Yes! 

So, here's another reminder that it's all connected. We need to eat well, exercise regularly, and sing in a choir to keep happy and healthy as we age, taking care of our bodies, our minds and our souls. 

I'm working on it!

My Newmarket Home: Appreciating Affording Awesome

A house made of brick, with stairs up to the bedrooms, insisted my eldest

More than one bathroom was what I wanted most, and better closet space

A basement and a backyard to play in, lots of kitchen cupboards and counter space

The most important thing was to be within the French Immersion School’s catchment area

The bottom line: What could we afford?

It turns out we could afford awesome

The kind of neighbourhood where people say hello when they cross paths

Where backyards have pools and jungle gyms, and tree swings and tree forts

Or hot tubs and teak sets, ponds with koi and garden Buddhas smiling peacefully

Mature trees proudly provide shade as you walk along sturdy sidewalks

Flowers, perennials and annuals, in beds, boxes, urns, and brass bicycles

And some yards are simply broad expanses of lawn mowed on Saturdays

Summers are quiet, and in the fall and winter and spring only the mornings are bustling

So quiet that you can hear the birds and bugs or the snow crunching under your feet

A passing car is loud, and a skateboarder is a storm with headphones humming a tune

Smelly school buses and cranky commuters move along the main roads in the morning

After, a group of dog walkers meet in the park and the tennis matches also start

Then, when the dogs are done, a day care parades to the playground chattering

Walking in Toronto, a new couple, we dreamed about a house and a yard

Until we drove up Yonge Street, looked north, it was just a dream

We followed our destiny up to Newmarket

Now, it’s an amazing reality and we’re gratified and grateful and part of our community

Our house, our neighbourhood, our town, our home sweet home

Not perfect (laundry room, loud landscaping tools, tree rot, dandelions) but awesome

Take a walk to feel good

Walk: 

advance, amble, ambulate, exercise, file, foot, go on foot, hike, hit the road, hoof it, locomote, march, meander, pace, pad, parade, patrol, perambulate, promenade, race, roam, rove, saunter, shuffle, stalk, step, stride, stroll, strut, take a walk, toddle, tour, traipse, tramp, travel on foot, traverse, tread, trek, troop, wander, wend one's way, etc.

I love to walk through my neighbourhood and look at the houses and gardens. I love to walk in the woods and along a lake. I love to walk through a city as a tourist. I love the sound of snow under my feet when it's crisp and cold.

I like to walk alone and I like to walk and talk too.

Think about holding hands with someone you love as you walk. Doesn't that feel good? Even just thinking about it is nice.

The picture above was taken in our local park, Fairy Lake, where a path takes you through open spaces and into woods along a creek. There are paved sections, gravel parts and a boardwalk too. I love walking through Fairy Lake with my daughters and my husband, pointing out interesting and beautiful things as we go. A family walk is a special thing.

A walk around the block or in the woods is not just good for your body, cardio if it's fast enough and far enough, it's also good for your mind and soul. A walk can help clear your head and think through a problem and can show you the beauty of the world you live in. Take a walk to feel better.

Here's what some famous folks have said about walking:

The Mayo Clinic: 

Walking: Trim your waistline, improve your health

For example, regular brisk walking can help you:

• Maintain a healthy weight
• Prevent or manage various conditions, including heart disease, high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes
• Strengthen your bones
• Lift your mood
• Improve your balance and coordination

The faster, farther and more frequently you walk, the greater the benefits.

Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.  ~Henry David Thoreau

My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing.  ~Aldous Huxley

Above all, do not lose your desire to walk.  Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness.  I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it.  ~Soren Kierkegaard

Lose weight more easily with positive thinking

We know that diet is a 4-letter word, so when you start your diet, don't call it a diet. Don't make a sad face and say "I'm on a diet." Make it a positive experience right from the start.

Set yourself up for success by smiling and telling yourself and everyone else that you're making some changes to improve your health. Don't eat those chips because you're working on improving your health. Eat more fruits and vegetables and less meat and fewer carbs to get healthier.  Get out and exercise because it makes you feel good. If it feels good, you will do it more and more and you will become fitter and healthier.

At the Mayo Clinic, they say that your attitude is a very important part of a weight loss program. Here's a link to their blog post about it. It makes sense, doesn't it?

Repeat positive things and avoid saying negative things. Avoid saying that you can't eat something or that you're "not allowed". That just makes you feel deprived and bad. (Been there: done that.) Try new foods and enjoy the food you do eat. Think about improving and work towards your goal with a happy heart.

I've got to work on my weight and fitness, and I've started swimming in the morning. So far, it's great. I feel good about doing it and I'm also going to look at what I eat and drink and what I'm feeding my family. We can all benefit from developing better eating habits. Wish me luck!

Ageing is better when you're happier

The daily blog of the Heart and Stroke Calendar had these 10 tips to keep you young.



It looks like the keys to ageing well are the same as the keys to happiness. Lots of those points are in my last post about increasing happiness. I especially like the last one, be a kid again!





I really have to pay more attention to my physical fitness. It's on every self-improvement list. Also, eating more fish is something that keeps coming up. I've tried to put fish on the menu once a week, but I have to try harder. I'm so incredibly happy that I never started smoking! I'm even happier that my children didn't grow up with cigarette smoke anywhere in their lives.

1. Stop the stress.  Worrying ages us all – and finding some calm amongst the trials of every day life is a challenge.  Try some meditation – or read our guide ‘Coping with Stress’ to get started!
2. Eat more fish!  Omega-3 fatty acids help maintain bone strength, give us radiant skin – and are great for a heart-healthy diet too.
3. Get involved in your community.  Research shows that volunteering can reduce stress, help with depression – and even lower blood pressure.
4. Train your brain!  Keep your mind active and stay sharp as you age by doing puzzles, playing memory games and reading often.
5. Laugh more.  Release those endorphins and give your face muscles a good stretch by watching a comedy DVD, reading a funny book, or laughing with friends.
6. Start walking.  Just 10 minutes a day can begin to get your body back in shape.  Get some aerobic exercise too – regular physical activity keeps your heart, lungs and entire cardiovascular system in tip-top shape.
7. Stretch your limbs. Check out our blog from last week to find out how flexibility keeps you active longer – and which stretches will work for you!
8. Get outside.  (Slap on the sunscreen of course).  Vitamin D energises and revitalises.  Breathing in fresh air is energising. Fresh air has a higher oxygen content than stale air that’s been breathed in and out over and over again – and a steady supply of oxygen is needed to keep your brain and every cell in your body healthy.
9. Stop smoking.  Not only are you risking serious illness, but smoking ages the skin.
10. Be a kid again!  Enjoy everything like a child.  Live for the moment, try new experiences, take an extra moment to wonder over the littlest thing…a butterfly landing nearby, a busker on your way to work, a beautiful flower in the park.  It’ll help you appreciate life to the full!

Make your brain power and happiness increase and last longer

In this article on the Greater Good Website, How to Trick your Brain for Happiness, Rick Hanson says that you should actively stretch your brain to increase the areas of the brain that make you happy. We know that saying "use it or lose it". As we age, we are more and more aware of that. Hanson suggests that you work on paying attention to positive experiences and making sure they "sink in" or really plant themselves in your brain so that you can access them, and you can increase the power of the brain to make connections and increase your feelings of happiness and reward. You can actively change your brain so that your brain power and happiness increase and last. 

He says:

You can use the mind to change the brain to change the mind for the better.

This is known as “self-directed neuroplasticity.” Neuroplasticity refers to the malleable nature of the brain, and it’s constant, ongoing. Self-directed neuroplasticity means doing it with clarity and skillfulness and intention.

The key to it is a controlled use of attention. Attention is like a spotlight, to be sure, shining on things within our awareness. But it’s also like vacuum cleaner, sucking whatever it rests upon into the brain, for better or worse.

For example, if we rest our attention routinely on what we resent or regret—our hassles, our lousy roommate, what Jean-Paul Sartre called “hell” (other people)—then we’re going to build out the neural substrates of those thoughts and feelings.

On the other hand, if we rest our attention on the things for which we’re grateful, the blessings in our life—the wholesome qualities in ourselves and the world around us; the things we get done, most of which are fairly small yet they’re accomplishments nonetheless—then we build up very different neural substrates.

If a person feels grateful for a few seconds, that’s nice. That’s better than feeling resentful or bitter for a few seconds. But in order to really suck that experience into the brain, we need to stay with those experiences for a longer duration of time—we need to take steps, consciously, to keep that spotlight of attention on the positive. (my italics)

1. Let a good fact become a good experience. Often we go through life and some good thing happens—a little thing, like we checked off an item on our To Do list, we survived another day at work, the flowers are blooming, and so forth. Hey, this is an opportunity to feel good. Don’t leave money lying on the table: Recognize that this is an opportunity to let yourself truly feel good.

2. Really savor this positive experience. Practice what any school teacher knows: If you want to help people learn something, make it as intense as possible—in this case, as felt in the body as possible—for as long as possible.

3. Finally, as you sink into this experience, sense your intent that this experience is sinking into you. Sometimes people do this through visualization, like by perceiving a golden light coming into themselves or a soothing balm inside themselves. You might imagine a jewel going into the treasure chest in your heart—or just know that this experience is sinking into you, becoming a resource you can take with you wherever you go.

Happiness Habits

This chart from the Greater Good Science Centre in Berkeley California is worth studying more closely.

The 6 habits of happiness worth cultivating are:

• Pay Attention
• Keep Friends Close
• Give Thanks
• Drop Grudges
• Get Moving
• Practise Kindness (I know, I used Canadian spelling.)

I need to work on exercising more and I would like to spend more time with my friends. Luckily, I do most of the things that people say happy people should do without even thinking about it. I'm probably genetically disposed and have had a good environment of positive thinking and positive action. I know I'm happier than most. I was a happy baby, a happy child, and even a mostly happy teenager.

One of the things that should be added to the list is

• Sing in a choir.

Or, at least Share Music in some way. Music, and particularly sharing music weekly in my choir, is a huge source of happiness for me. Singing along to the radio in the car, dancing with friends, and listening to a concert or watching a music video all make me happy too. 

What would you add to the list of Happiness Habits?

• ?

Change the world with small acts of kindness

I'm not alone. I'm not the only one. I'm not a spacey pollyanna who's out of touch with reality (or not the only one, anyway). Positive thinking and small acts of kindness are powerful and I do make a difference in the world just by being me.

There is a ton of work going on to study Happiness and Well-being, not just to promote lifestyle changes for individuals or products to improve your life, but to promote Peace and the Greater Good. Some of this work is done at the Greater Good Science Center in California at the University of California at Berkeley.

The Greater Good Science Center studies the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being, and teaches skills that foster a thriving, resilient, and compassionate society.

How cool is that? (I know, Berkeley California.) Click on that link and check out their website. There are tons of fascinating articles to read. That was their mission statement and this is what they believe:

Our Core Beliefs

• Compassion is a fundamental human trait, with deep psychological and evolutionary roots. By creating environments that foster cooperation and altruism, we help nurture the positive side of human nature.
• Happiness is not simply dependent on a person’s genes. It is a set of skills that can be taught, and, with practice, developed over time.
• Happiness and altruism are intertwined—doing good is an essential ingredient to being happy.
• Science should do more than help us understand human behavior and emotion in the abstract; it should be applied toward improving people’s personal and professional lives.
• Studying the roots of good, healthy, and positive behavior is just as important as studying human pathologies. To promote individual and social well-being, science must examine how people overcome difficult circumstances and how they develop positive emotions and relationships.
• Individual well-being promotes social well-being, and social well-being promotes individual well-being. The well-being of society as a whole can best be achieved by providing information, tools, and skills to those people directly responsible for shaping the well-being of others.

There's a documentary film in the works that some of those Berkeley scientists have contributed to. 

Good Virus is a feel-good documentary, narrated by Catherine Ryan Hyde, best selling author of the novel and film, Pay It Forward. Good Virus is all about being nice and the benefits of being nice. We profile cutting-edge scientists and authors from Berkeley to Harvard and everywhere in between as well as real life people whose lives illustrate their incredible discovery: THAT KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS!

You can read about Good Virus on this website.

I now have 2 more books to add to my summer reading list: Pay if Forward, by Catherine Ryan Hyde and Born to be Good: the science of a meaningful life, by Dacher Keltner.

Here are some Happiness Habits for you from Berkeley:

Pretending: change reality

Take a look at this article:

Self help: forget positive thinking, try positive action by Richard Wiseman in The Observer, Saturday 30 June 2012 22.40 BST

"More than a century ago William James (brother of the novelist Henry James) proposed a radically different approach to change. Decades of research has shown that his theory applies to almost every aspect of everyday life, and can be used to help people feel happier, avoid anxiety and worry, fall in love and live happily ever after, stay slim, increase their willpower and confidence, and even slow the effects of ageing (my italics)."

It's all about going beyond positive thinking and using positive actions to influence your mood and your health, and even other people. So, don't just think positive thoughts to feel happier. That might not be enough. Force a smile and it will make you will happier. 

It starts out with pretending to be happy. You don't feel like smiling, but put on a fake one and then it turns real. I do that all the time! I start to daydream and worry, but I pull myself out of it by smiling. It helps to think a positive thought at the same time or turn my attention to something nice while I'm smiling, but it will work just to smile. A positive thing will come: a happy thought will pop into my head or something pretty will catch my attention once I'm smiling. It really works. 

Influencing other people by nodding when you want them to agree with you sounds like it might work too. I'll have to try it. 

We've all heard that you're only as old as you think you are, but there's a study where they got a bunch of men to act younger too, and after a week of this youthful behaviour, they improved their "dexterity, speed of movement, memory, blood pressure, eyesight and hearing."

Here's what the article says about smiling and nodding to encourage agreement, but there are several more examples that you'll want to read : 

"HAPPINESS: Smile

This is the granddaddy of them all. As Laird's study demonstrated, smile and you will feel happier. To get the most out of this exercise, make the smile as wide as possible, extend your eyebrow muscles slightly upward, and hold the resulting expression for about 20 seconds."

"PERSUASION: Nod

If people nod while they listen to a discussion they are more likely to agree with the points being made. When you want to encourage someone to agree with you, subtly nod your head as you chat with them. Research led by Gary Wells of Iowa State University shows that they will reciprocate the movement and find themselves strangely attracted to your way of thinking."

Harmony: Nature and Choir

Take a look at this blog post on my choir blog, Renate's Baton. I wrote about my experiences in nature and in my choir which help me to keep a positive perspective. It's called "The choir of life sounds great."

Singing in a choir is an excellent way to contribute to your own happiness and to spread happiness. This season, our annual spring concert was called, "Singing with Friends: Spreading Harmony". And, I truly believe that my choir spreads harmony and increases the happiness of its members, the community and the world. That's a perfect Pollyannaish statement.

All you need is love (da da-da da-da)

Lovingkindness is all we need. You don't really have to feel love for everyone. But, we need to try to treat everyone with lovingkindness. It's something I was taught by my parents and that I hear taught in church.

People are keeping the bullying ball in the air, having talks, publishing articles and making videos to remind us that kids are being bullied and it's a terrible thing. I wish they would look at adult bullying too, and the causes of it. It's really no surprise that some kids are bullies when they see it working for lots of powerful grown-ups, and that some kids are silent victims because they see that even in the world of grown-ups there are rarely any consequences for bullies, only more punishment for victims.

Sometimes I think that if everyone would just listen to a few pieces of music, it would all be better. Listen to the Beatles sing their words of wisdom, Let it Be and All You Need is Love.

Sometimes I think that if everyone could volunteer in a school at lunchtime for a while, they'd see that all the kids are lovable.

Sometimes I think that if everyone would have a chance to work in an ESL class in Toronto, it would all be better. They would see that other people are really okay, more than okay, lovable.

I just read this article about otherizing, (Otherizing by Mirabai Starr, Huffington Post, June 8, 2013) having clicked a link from Facebook. The concept of otherizing is powerful. Here's what the author says:

"The illusion of separation is what causes violence and oppression. The minute we identify an individual or a group as being the Other, we banish ourselves to a spiritual wasteland and justify treating someone else with anything less than lovingkindness."

We have to get this message across. Everyone deserves lovingkindness. Justify that. Too many people who should be sharing this loving message are too busy righteously otherizing and righteously justifying their unkindness (and worse) instead. Many of them are loud and powerful. Try not to join them. We need to be louder than the bullies.

There are lots of people making beautiful music and art and writing good books and even just sharing inspiring quotes on Facebook. Keep sharing the good stuff, and think twice before sharing something that makes someone else look bad or stupid, even if you think they "deserve it". Focus on the positive and the beautiful, and listen to music. Join a movement of Happiness. It will all be better.

Baby Laughter: What Joy!

I know that videos like this make a site slower, but I just had to get the shot of this cutie laughing. I had to share this video of a baby and her big full-body laugh. We should all laugh like this regularly. She's very happy to just watch Dad throw some popcorn for the dog to catch. Dogs and kids: gifts of love and silliness. Sure, you've got to deal with the sleepless nights and spit up on your shoulder, drool and doggy doodles, but a laugh like that cancels out all of that in a moment! What joy!